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Monday, September 22, 2014

Monday Musings: Week 38



Aside from my spending report, today’s post has nothing to do with saving money, becoming a minimalist family, etc. It’s just me being transparent, sharing a very real struggle I face every day.

Here are my stats for week 38:               

Week 38 Spending
Groceries  
$92
Miscellaneous (Doctor's office co-pay)
$25
Total  
$117

Here is the share:
At the end of last week’s post, I mentioned that we had returned home to a mess and a lot of kid drama. A dear friend of mine noted the hint of discouragement in that statement, and I shared some details with her. I thought I might include a redacted version in today’s post – to protect the guilty.
-------
We came home to a house that looked like a disaster area and a report of younger kids who had made life miserable for the older kids who were in charge while we were gone. After having such a great weekend, it was quite a letdown.

 I know I need to lower my expectations so I don't get so disappointed. If I just expected the house to be a wreck, then I would actually be happy if it wasn't, right?

My friend shared –
When I get up to my eyeballs in problems, I can feel like I'm going to drown. 

And I replied --
This is where I am. Sadly, my go to response is to try to control the situation rather that trusting the Lord to walk me through it. I'm discovering that the first 35 years of my being a Christian were pretty simple. A problem came up, the Lord provided a way through, and I took it. But in the last 5+ years the trials are so multi-faceted, so intertwined with each other, so pervasive that the solution seems buried beneath all the what-ifs and the worry and the self-recrimination.

But the truth is that while the problems may have changed, the solution remains the same. The Lord will provide a way through, and I just need to take it. I need to loosen my grip on my life and tighten my grip on His life, and hang on while He navigates the circuitous path. I cannot pull myself out of every pit, but He can lift me up. I can't dodge problems, but He can carry me through them. And in the end (and even today), rather than being a bitter, angry woman who blames everything on others, I can know the sweet peace of resting in the arms of my Savior.

That's the place I want be. That's who I want to be. Now the challenge is to get there! 

Any suggestions?



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